To scared to come to you!!
I am too afraid to confront you on how I am feeling right now. I know that you are still talking to the woman that you cheated on me with. I don't know who this new woman is but you sure do talk to her a lot too. Is there someone else but you just can't seem to leave? I am hurting soo much that it's not even explicable. I am back to not knowing what to do with myself or who you even are.
You have been lying to me and when you get caught you try to play it off with sarcasm or to be all lovely dovey. This isn't right the way that you are treating me. I can see it in your eyes that you don't want to be here anymore. I can see that you don't love me the way that you used too. I can see that you are possibly only here for the kids?? I don't know why you are here to be totally honest. If you are only here for the kids then you need to leave.
I text you yesterday expressing my feelings about you now working overnight and you don't even call or text me back but you text a "co-worker" of yours numerous times. When you do finally address the situation, you ask me "what was the point of texting me if you were going to add your final line?" I was trying to tell you how I feel stupid. Then you make a half-ass attempt at doing what you think I wanted. I didn't want to have sex with you. That was not why I sent that text. I wanted to hear you say that you love me too and that we are going to get this together and we are going to be okay. But not you, you think that sex solves everything. No it doesn't. Sex is what you got in trouble for in the first place. Sex is the farthest thing from my mind at this point. It doesn't even feel good considering I am almost 8 mos (32 weeks) pregnant. I bet you don't even know that tomorrow I will be 32 weeks, do you?
It's really sad because right now I don't even want you to be in the delivery room when I have our child. I don't feel like you should get the privilege of witnessing such a beautiful event. Hell you not in so many words told me that I should have an abortion but I guess I should be used to that at this point as you have told me that with our previous 3 children. I feel like I have been doing everything on my own so far, so why should I share this with you?
I have been our children's mother and father. You were out there doing your thing while I was the one home sick & pregnant taking care of sick children. I was the one home when our children woke up screaming in the middle of the night while you were out doing what you wanted to do. You consider yourself a real father but to me you are nothing but a cowardly man who doesn't seem to want to take care of his responsibilities.
Still I ask myself why do I put up with your bullshit? Why do I subject myself to your pain? Remember it might have taken all the courage that I could muster up but I did put you OUT! I didn't even ask for you to come back. You made the decision and choose to come back. I choose to let you back into my heart and house. How do you repay me? You continue doing the same stuff as before. I think that I may have to accept the fact that you truly don't love or respect me and that I will have to ask you to leave. I know it's going to hurt like hell considering how long we have been together and how many children we have together but it may just be for the best interest of my sanity and their well-being.
You have been lying to me and when you get caught you try to play it off with sarcasm or to be all lovely dovey. This isn't right the way that you are treating me. I can see it in your eyes that you don't want to be here anymore. I can see that you don't love me the way that you used too. I can see that you are possibly only here for the kids?? I don't know why you are here to be totally honest. If you are only here for the kids then you need to leave.
I text you yesterday expressing my feelings about you now working overnight and you don't even call or text me back but you text a "co-worker" of yours numerous times. When you do finally address the situation, you ask me "what was the point of texting me if you were going to add your final line?" I was trying to tell you how I feel stupid. Then you make a half-ass attempt at doing what you think I wanted. I didn't want to have sex with you. That was not why I sent that text. I wanted to hear you say that you love me too and that we are going to get this together and we are going to be okay. But not you, you think that sex solves everything. No it doesn't. Sex is what you got in trouble for in the first place. Sex is the farthest thing from my mind at this point. It doesn't even feel good considering I am almost 8 mos (32 weeks) pregnant. I bet you don't even know that tomorrow I will be 32 weeks, do you?
It's really sad because right now I don't even want you to be in the delivery room when I have our child. I don't feel like you should get the privilege of witnessing such a beautiful event. Hell you not in so many words told me that I should have an abortion but I guess I should be used to that at this point as you have told me that with our previous 3 children. I feel like I have been doing everything on my own so far, so why should I share this with you?
I have been our children's mother and father. You were out there doing your thing while I was the one home sick & pregnant taking care of sick children. I was the one home when our children woke up screaming in the middle of the night while you were out doing what you wanted to do. You consider yourself a real father but to me you are nothing but a cowardly man who doesn't seem to want to take care of his responsibilities.
Still I ask myself why do I put up with your bullshit? Why do I subject myself to your pain? Remember it might have taken all the courage that I could muster up but I did put you OUT! I didn't even ask for you to come back. You made the decision and choose to come back. I choose to let you back into my heart and house. How do you repay me? You continue doing the same stuff as before. I think that I may have to accept the fact that you truly don't love or respect me and that I will have to ask you to leave. I know it's going to hurt like hell considering how long we have been together and how many children we have together but it may just be for the best interest of my sanity and their well-being.
posted by Hurting Mama at 10:07 AM
