Why Do I Hate Him So???
It seems that not a day goes by without me feeling some kind of contempt for this man. Iknow it's all part of the roller coaster ride that we have being goign through these last year but i seem to feel more numb more and more EVERY DAY!!! The more I sit here with the kids and try to do the things that he wants me to do I get more and more angry with him. It seems like all he does is yell at me these days and it's getting quite annoying or all he wants to do is have sex. I mean there is more to me than my pussy and the emotional punching bag!!! I think I really need to take some time out and think about where I want this relationship to go, if I even want to stay in it.
I thought that things would get better but they seem to be getting worse. Yeah we are generally happier but we are still not happy with each other. I guess he thought that my attitude toward him was going to change once I found out the results and I thought that he would try to make me happy to ensure that my attitude would change but it seems that we both are not really trying to hard at this point. I can't do it anymore because it is too draining and since I am the one who is home with the children all day and he is only here long enough to sleep and shit. I have to have all of my wits about me. I don't want my hostility toward him to affect my children. It's really hard right now considering my hormones are on their thing right now and that my 2 youngest (3 & 1) are being their ages and boys at that. I have to step away from them because they drive me crazier. LOL
I will have to say that this blogging has helped me out tremendously!!!! There are times like right now that I don't have anyone to talk too and I start to go insane but since I began blogging whenever I feel like I am about to lose it, I start to feel TONS better!! It's like I get to release a lot of frustration that I have pent up inside of me. It's kinda of funny because it's almost like I am writing my own novel. Yes I am sure many women have gone through this exeperience but how many of them really chronocialized how they felt? How many of them let the world read into the souls? Not many. Some women are too ashamed because they felt like it was their faults. I have learned from this experience that it's nout our fault that our mate decided to cheat on us. They did that on their own. Marriage isn't suppose to be easy and there will be tough time but just because there are tought times doesn't mean that you run for the border when the first signs of a storm hit.
Be strong ladies!!! We will survive with or without that one that you love!!
I thought that things would get better but they seem to be getting worse. Yeah we are generally happier but we are still not happy with each other. I guess he thought that my attitude toward him was going to change once I found out the results and I thought that he would try to make me happy to ensure that my attitude would change but it seems that we both are not really trying to hard at this point. I can't do it anymore because it is too draining and since I am the one who is home with the children all day and he is only here long enough to sleep and shit. I have to have all of my wits about me. I don't want my hostility toward him to affect my children. It's really hard right now considering my hormones are on their thing right now and that my 2 youngest (3 & 1) are being their ages and boys at that. I have to step away from them because they drive me crazier. LOL
I will have to say that this blogging has helped me out tremendously!!!! There are times like right now that I don't have anyone to talk too and I start to go insane but since I began blogging whenever I feel like I am about to lose it, I start to feel TONS better!! It's like I get to release a lot of frustration that I have pent up inside of me. It's kinda of funny because it's almost like I am writing my own novel. Yes I am sure many women have gone through this exeperience but how many of them really chronocialized how they felt? How many of them let the world read into the souls? Not many. Some women are too ashamed because they felt like it was their faults. I have learned from this experience that it's nout our fault that our mate decided to cheat on us. They did that on their own. Marriage isn't suppose to be easy and there will be tough time but just because there are tought times doesn't mean that you run for the border when the first signs of a storm hit.
Be strong ladies!!! We will survive with or without that one that you love!!
posted by Hurting Mama at 7:49 PM
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