The wait has begun!!!
Hubby, girl and baby took paternity test on Friday. I can't wait to get the results back but in a way I am really scared too. What if it comes back his baby? What am I going to do? Will I stay with him and share him with some other woman and child? These questions keep running through my head right now. I love my hubby but do I love him enough to stay with him if this is his child? Do I want to keep my marriage and family together?
I am sitting here all teary eyes because I really don't know what I am going to do if this is his child. I love my hubby, Goddess knows how much I love my hubby but I don't really know if I have the strength to help me cope with this. It is taking all that I can muster just to get up every day and see his face with all the uncertainties already.
Like tonight after we go trick or treating with our kids, he is going to the girl's house to visit with the girl and the baby. I can't live like this and I know I can't. I am not strong enough to do this. My heart hurts too much and I need to be strong for my children. I feel like my world has changed and it will definately NEVER be the same again!
He just walked out the door and I am here in tears. Not just because he is going to see this girl and it's already 9pm but because it seems that we will be separating anyways. I got some messages from my Dad stating that he has found someone to live here that can move in this weekend, so it seems that hubby got his wish. He gets to have his freedom. I want to believe that in a month we will back together in our new apartment but it's really hard to believe at this point because he keeps spending the money. Not to mention that the results for the paternity test will definately be back and may not WANT to get back with me, if the child is his.
I am utterly lost once again and I don't have anywhere to turn. I believe everything happens for a reason. I know that it will hurt me to see my hubby leave as I have already experienced that but maybe it's suppose to be this way because he really doesn't want to be with me and he isjust living a lie. I don't know!!! This dual life thing really sucks and I want a resolution!!!!!!!!!!
I am sitting here all teary eyes because I really don't know what I am going to do if this is his child. I love my hubby, Goddess knows how much I love my hubby but I don't really know if I have the strength to help me cope with this. It is taking all that I can muster just to get up every day and see his face with all the uncertainties already.
Like tonight after we go trick or treating with our kids, he is going to the girl's house to visit with the girl and the baby. I can't live like this and I know I can't. I am not strong enough to do this. My heart hurts too much and I need to be strong for my children. I feel like my world has changed and it will definately NEVER be the same again!
He just walked out the door and I am here in tears. Not just because he is going to see this girl and it's already 9pm but because it seems that we will be separating anyways. I got some messages from my Dad stating that he has found someone to live here that can move in this weekend, so it seems that hubby got his wish. He gets to have his freedom. I want to believe that in a month we will back together in our new apartment but it's really hard to believe at this point because he keeps spending the money. Not to mention that the results for the paternity test will definately be back and may not WANT to get back with me, if the child is his.
I am utterly lost once again and I don't have anywhere to turn. I believe everything happens for a reason. I know that it will hurt me to see my hubby leave as I have already experienced that but maybe it's suppose to be this way because he really doesn't want to be with me and he isjust living a lie. I don't know!!! This dual life thing really sucks and I want a resolution!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Hurting Mama at 10:05 PM
<< Home